Words

When I stared this Blog it was out of a need to explore what erotic thoughts and desires I  have.  In this short month I have been shocked at what I have learned.  Is it me or is it her that has done this?  I have read many blogs that have excited me but there were 2 that touched some passion deep inside of me that I did not realize was there.  I am always so in control of my feelings - I must be in order to do what I have promised to do. I have made a commitment and I will live up to it, not simply because I do not break my word but because I want to.  Still, in being the responsible one, in being the giving one I have needed to lock part of myself away, call it a defense mechanism.  Until now I have not had any real problem with that, I never understood those feelings anyway.  Now though, perhaps because I am older and more mature, I understand them better and am not so afraid of them.  Now I want to get to know them, so I look for some way to explore them.
One friend has come along that touches them in such a way that I am truly challenged.  Not only to I feel the unadulterated roar of sexual energy I also feel something else that I can not quite pinpoint yet.  Is it some deep well of masculinity?  I am not sure.  I admit my understanding of that subject is rather tenuous.  I am a man that does not understand men - how odd. 
What follows if my first serious attempt at writing to convey emotion and feeling rather than action.  I hope I have managed to make some progress.